This is a shameless vegan hack of a cookie that’s received celebrity-grade attention in NYC in recent days: the “compost” cookie from Momofuku Milk Bar. This version is a dairy-free, eggless yet buttery disk that barely contains a slew of chocolate chips, vegan white chocolate chips, pretzels (make mine peanut butter filled), potato chips and ground coffee. Open your heart and mouth to this Frankencookie that’s a freefall of salty, crunchy, brown-sugary and chewy, plus best of all: coffee! Grind up fresh a few tablespoons of your best beans, I promise it’s worth the effort.

Still in the dark about vegan white chocolate chips? Try an Internet search for “vegan white chocolate chips” and you’ll find some handy sites for ordering online. I make an occasional trek to a local Kosher supermarket and stock up on Israeli dairy-free white chocolate chips; just look for the yellow bag with the smiling chef-hat bear.

Don’t fear adding potato chips to cookies; it’s an old secret ingredient that adds loads of chewy texture, best with the classic crunchy, slightly oily style of chocolate chip confection these cookies take after. Hearty kettle-style potato chips are my favorite in life and in this recipe. I opted for peanut butter filled pretzels in mine but go ahead and use any style of pretzel (salt & pepper or sourdough) or other mashed up cookies such as graham crackers (is this cookie cannibalism?). Whatever you load these up with you’ll have an extreme sporting event for your mouth that goes great with a glass of almond milk. And please don’t call these wholesome, they’re a decadent party or holiday treat to be shared with the junk food fans in your life.

Trash Mash Cookies

4 tablespoons almond milk
4 teaspoons ground golden flax seeds

1 cup Earth Balance margarine, slightly softened
2/3 cup dark brown sugar

1/2 cup sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 3/4 cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
generous pinch sea salt
3 cups salted potato chips
1 1/2 cups peanut butter filled pretzels, roughly chopped
1/2 cup vegan white chocolate chips
1/2 cup vegan chocolate chips
4 teaspoons ground coffee beans (medium grind)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

In a small cup gently heat the almond milk in the microwave until steaming, about 1 minute on high (or warm on a stove top). Use a fork to whisk in ground flax seeds and set aside. In a large mixing bowl, use an electric handheld mixer to cream together Earth Balance, brown sugar and sugar until fluffy, about 3-4 minutes. Use a rubber spatula to scrap the sides of the bowl frequently. Add flaxseed mixture and vanilla and beat until creamy. Sift in flour, baking soda and sea salt and beat to form a soft dough, scrapping sides of bowl frequently. In a separate mixing bowl combine potato chips, chopped pretzels, and both chocolate chips and using your hand press down on the chips to crush. Add mixture to dough and fold into the dough; I like using my hand to make sure everything distributes evenly. Sprinkle ground coffee and knead dough just a few times to distribute coffee somewhat randomly through the dough.

Use a 1 Tablespoon sized cookie scoop and drop scoops of dough onto baking sheet, leaving 2 inches between cookies as they will spread. Gently squish down dough scoops with your palm and bake for 9-10 minutes until edges are lightly browned. Remove from oven and let cool on sheets for 5 minutes before using a spatula to transfer to cooling racks. Store completely cooled cookies in loosely covered container. Makes about 2 ½ dozen.